My journey to self-realization and acceptance as a transgender man has been a profound and transformative experience.
From as early as 4-5 years old, I always saw myself as a boy. I hated being dressed in girls' clothes and was drawn to boys' toys.
Puberty was a particularly distressing time for me, as I experienced body dysphoria and extreme discomfort with the changes occurring in my body.
Without the language to name my experiences, I had no idea that I was trans all along.
I began identifying as trans when I was 18. Growing up in a conservative environment, I initially had no idea that transitioning was even possible until I stumbled upon a blog on Tumblr about hormonal replacement therapy. It was through this that I learned about sexual orientation, gender identity, and expression (SOGIE), finally finding the language to describe myself and my experiences. I knew deep down that I did not want to grow old in a woman's body.
Relationships lost—and gained
The first person I came out to was my girlfriend, who is now my fiancée. We had been dating for three years at that point, and her support was unwavering. She was very happy and excited for me, as long as I would go through the process safely.
It was very different from my experience with the first family member I came out to: my mom. She didn’t take it very well—she dismissed my feelings as a phase and told me it was all in my head.
In response to the lack of support and resources, I co-founded the first trans man support group in Visayas-Mindanao. It aimed to provide a safe space for trans men, educate the public about the trans community, and offer resources and guides for fellow trans men living in the Philippines. This initiative eventually led us to find a trans-friendly endocrinologist, making me feel safe to start my medical transition.
I saved up for my medical transition while working through university. I vividly remember the first day I started on testosterone—I couldn’t have been happier. I documented my entire medical transition for three years.
Transitioning was not without its challenges. Not everyone understood my journey, and I lost a few friendships along the way. But I also discovered who truly mattered in my life. I built a chosen family of friends who supported me unconditionally from day one. I gained the support of strangers who were inspired by my journey, and I couldn’t be more grateful for their encouragement.
Self-discovery, resilience, growth
My university graduation was a moment I had looked forward to for years, but the thought of being forced to wear a dress filled me with dread. The institution had strict dress codes for graduation ceremonies, and I was expected to conform to the traditional female attire. This was a direct clash with my identity, and I knew I had to stand my ground. After much negotiation and explanation of my situation, the university allowed me to wear attire that aligned with my gender identity. Walking across that stage in clothing that felt right to me was a small victory in my larger battle for acceptance and respect.
One of the most memorable moments of my transition was the day I revealed my chest after top surgery. For the first time, I looked in the mirror and saw the reflection of the person I had always seen myself as. This moment was incredibly affirming and brought me immense joy.
Throughout my journey, I realized that people are going to talk regardless of what I do. Therefore, I decided to live my life authentically, not to impress others but to express myself. This mindset shift has been liberating and empowering.
One significant step in my journey was moving to Canada, where I could finally obtain the correct legal documents for myself. In the Philippines, changing my legal documents was nearly impossible, and it was a constant challenge. I couldn’t even marry the love of my life. In Canada, I was able to change my legal name and gender marker. The day I received my first government ID with my correct name and gender marker was the day I felt like I had received my license to live authentically.
Throughout my transition, I have gained several realizations. First, self-acceptance is crucial. Embracing who I am has been the most empowering decision of my life. Second, the support of loved ones and the LGBTQ+ community is invaluable. My journey has been made easier by the encouragement and understanding of those around me. Finally, living boldly and authentically is a powerful act of self-love. By being true to myself, I have found happiness and fulfillment.
Trans people are not asking for special treatment—we're simply seeking respect and understanding like everyone else. Using our correct names and pronouns, respecting our identities, and educating yourselves about our experiences are simple acts of kindness that can make a huge difference. I hope for a world where everyone can live authentically, free from fear and prejudice. Your actions and words have the power to create a more inclusive space for everyone.
My journey as a trans man has been one of self-discovery, resilience, and growth. From my early childhood struggles with body dysphoria to finding the language to express my identity, every step has been transformative despite the challenges and setbacks.
As I look forward to marrying the love of my life and continuing to build my career, I am filled with hope and determination. My journey has taught me the importance of self-acceptance, the power of community, and the necessity of being true to myself. I share my story in the hope that it will inspire and support others on their own journeys, and to contribute to a more inclusive and understanding world. Embrace your authenticity and live boldly—the world needs the true you.