Cheat codes
No, this isn’t about school crib sheets or gaming hacks. Now that Valentine’s Day is behind us, let’s talk about love’s ugly twin: infidelity.
Not everyone spent V-Day basking in grand romantic gestures. For many, love is less about chocolates and roses and more about quiet endurance—staying in a relationship out of habit, shared history, family stability, or even misplaced pity. Swallowing one’s pride becomes a daily ritual, served alongside meals and small talk. Love conquers all, they say. But should it?
Infidelity isn’t a gender-exclusive crime, though the reasons often differ. Evolutionary psychology suggests that early men were wired to seek multiple partners, a primal drive to spread their genes and ensure the survival of their lineage. While times have changed, some argue that the impulse remains deeply embedded in the modern male psyche.
Studies show that men chase novelty despite the mental and physical toll of cheating—the stress of sneaking around, maintaining a web of deception, and, quite literally, keeping up with multiple women. The irony? Many don’t even enjoy the affair as much as the thrill of getting away with it.
Women, on the other hand, often stray when they feel invisible or emotionally neglected. Just ask The World of the Married fans who sympathized with Kim Hee-ae’s character as she found comfort in her estranged husband’s friend. Pop culture, history, and scandalous headlines have long confirmed that infidelity is not a male monopoly. That said, let’s focus on the topic from a woman’s POV.
Now that Valentine’s Day is behind us, let’s talk about love’s ugly twin: infidelity.
Cheating is a hot-button issue, yet many victims choose silence over confrontation. Guilt, shame, or a stubborn hope that things will get better keep them locked in emotional limbo. “He’ll change,” they tell themselves. But will he? And more importantly, why should she wait to find out?
Back in the day, cheating required more effort. Men refreshed their cologne to mask another woman’s scent, rehearsed alibis for nights or weekends away, and crafted handwritten love notes delivered through trusted go-betweens—like Cold War spy craft. Memorizing telephone numbers was a must, and answering a landline felt like rolling the dice, perfectly captured in Stevie Wonder’s Part-Time Lover.
Hollywood didn’t hold back either. Fatal Attraction made infidelity downright terrifying, with Michael Douglas’s married man facing Glenn Close’s vengeful mistress after a brief but passionate affair—an elevator rendezvous never ends well. American Beauty took it to an even darker place, exposing the grotesque consequences of an older man’s disturbing obsession with his daughter’s teenage friend. After all the sexual assault charges Kevin Spacey has been facing, he seemed perfect for the role. Honestly, Predator might’ve been a more fitting title—if Arnold hadn’t already claimed it.
While society has long turned a blind eye to men’s affairs while expecting women to remain saintly, Unfaithful flipped the script. Richard Gere’s Edward is driven to murder when he discovers his wife Connie (Diane Lane) in the arms of Paul (Olivier Martinez). And yes, ladies, we hear you —“Cheat on Richard Gere?! Seriously?”
For generations of Filipinos, films like Relasyon (starring Vilma Santos) and Gaano Kadalas ang Minsan (curiously, also starring Ate Vi) have turned infidelity into gripping melodrama. Mistresses are vilified as homewreckers, as seen in No Other Woman and The Mistress, stirring rage among wives and single women alike. But hey, it’s just fiction—no harm done, right?
Beyond the kabit (literally, “attachment”), pop culture has given us cheating archetypes galore: the long-suffering spouse (Jodi Sta. Maria in The Broken Marriage Vow), the gaslighting partner who accuses you of cheating (John Lloyd Cruz in My Amnesia Girl), and of course, the scorned lover who turns heartbreak into a hit song—cue Taylor Swift. From Should’ve Said No to Illicit Affairs and High Infidelity, Tay Tay has perfected the art of monetizing betrayal.
In today’s digital age, infidelity is just a swipe, a DM, or a disappearing Snap away. Encrypted messages and vanishing texts (looking at you, Telegram) have replaced lipstick-stained collars and hotel receipts. Gone are the days when nosy neighbors exposed affairs—now, social media detectives armed with screenshots do the job.
Sometimes, the red flags are obvious: more frequent company “junkets,” sudden devotion to early-morning tee times, secretive phone habits (or multiple phones, like a narco), or a super supportive coworker who’s always there. Other times, it’s just a gut feeling—like when Carrie Bradshaw knew something was off with Big in Sex and the City.
So, it happened. Your partner cheated. Now what?
Like the civilized beings we (mostly) are, the first instinct is to communicate, not with dramatic shouting, slapping, or strewing things about, but with cool logic. If something feels off, address it before it escalates into a full-blown, karma-fueled revenge plot. And take note: anyone who avoids a “serious talk” is like a liar who can’t make eye contact—dodging the truth under the guise of ignorance.
Then there are the gaslighters, the ones who twist the blame until you’re the one apologizing for… what, exactly? Maybe for having one too many male friends? Classic deflection.
At this point, you have two options: take the high road and forgive and forget, or channel your inner badass and agree with Juice WRLD’s Goodbye & Good Riddance. If you choose forgiveness, you might resonate with Nina Simone’s The Other Woman (long before Beyoncé covered it), which paints the mistress as a tragic figure, destined to cry herself to sleep, never truly having his love. But if you’re saying goodbye, it’s probably because you’ve recognized the pattern—because, in legal jargon, repeat cheaters are recidivists, and as Friends fans know, Ross definitely fits the profile.
On the flip side, those who stay often get labeled as martyrs, because, let’s face it, we still live in a fairly conservative society. But if you do decide to stay, remember: rebuilding trust isn’t about words; it’s about consistent, transparent actions. A toxic relationship isn’t a tango—it’s quicksand.
That said, modern, independent women aren’t as willing to let duplicity slide. Many would rather be SALI (single and loving it) than waste energy on someone who can’t keep their promises. Others take a more pragmatic approach—entering into lavender marriages, but that’s a topic for another time.
For sure, cheating is messy, painful, and sometimes downright cinematic. Whether you’ve been the betrayed, the betrayer, or the best friend stuck in the middle, one thing is certain: It's always better to be aware, honest, and resilient enough to walk away unscathed when necessary. Because love should feel safe, not like an escape room where you’re constantly searching for clues—or the nearest exit.
At the end of the day, cheating is simply the antithesis of true love. Jimin of BTS once said love is “the providence of the universe” and that “our happiness was meant to be.” Call me idealistic, but I still believe in serendipity.
