For this queer couple who graduated summa and magna cum laude, LGBTQ+ success stories matter
Queer success stories exist—and couple Tristan Cobalida and Lance Arevada, who finished magna cum laude and summa cum laude, respectively, are one example.
It was in October 2024 when Tristan graduated with flying colors with a degree in International Studies from the Polytechnic University of the Philippines. A year later, his partner Lance would follow suit when he earned his degree in Communication Arts from Ateneo de Manila University this June.
Summa Cum Laude ? Magna Cum Laude pic.twitter.com/0UwhhV9268
— Tristan Angelo (@Tanananantanan) June 22, 2025
Tristan and Lance met through a dating app in April 2023. They were both from Binangonan, Rizal and instantly clicked after their first night of talking.
At the time, Lance was in his sophomore year in college, while Tristan was a junior. When the classes started, the two had to go back to their residences in Santa Mesa and Katipunan, and Lance thought it was the end of their blooming romance—until Tristan invited him to hang out in Santa Mesa.
They spent the night watching YouTube videos and even traveled back to their hometown in Rizal together the next day.
“Parang we knew, kahit that was only one week, this was something that's not just for one night,” Lance told PhilSTAR L!fe, adding that they’ve decided that they will exclusively see each other.
For his part, Tristan said that their first meeting was the first time he felt “seen" by someone.
“Parang I think one of the reasons din why I agreed to meet him and let him spend the night din kasi that was the first time I ever felt comfortable talking to someone na I didn’t have to explain myself and my identity," he shared. “I’m non-binary, so to a lot of people, that's not something na they easily understand."
“When I talked to him (Lance), that was the first time it didn't feel like, ‘Oh what are you as a person?’ He never made me feel I have to explain myself. That was a first time na I felt seen by someone romantically na I didn't have to make a big deal of my identity,” Tristan added.
While Lance said that he and Tristan were polar opposites, he decided to give it a go since it was also his first time meeting someone who had “genuine interest” in him.
“It's just natural you don't have to force it, and it really gives us something to look forward to and work on for the future."
Juggling academic and boyfriend duties
The queer couple had a lot on their plates—they were both academic achievers and student leaders in college. Tristan was a part of the student council for three years and worked with various non-government organizations, including an LGBT organization where he taught about sexual orientation, gender identity, gender expression, and sex characteristics or SOGIESC. Meanwhile, Lance served as the editor-in-chief of Matanglawin, the official Filipino student publication at Ateneo, and wrote for major news outlets during his internship. He's also running a Gen Z podcast titled "Ganito Kasi ‘Yan."
"That's the thing we had in college, parehas kaming may pinag-sasabay na orgs. We weren't just stuck between acads and our love lives," Lance shared.
Lance, who is turning 22, admitted that balancing responsibilities while being present for his partner was hard at first, but they were able to find a way to spend quality time amid their busy days.
“It’s more of [really] making that effort to be present to one another. [We] know our love language primarily is quality time so we try to make time [for] each other, whether that means that I would go to his unit in Santa Mesa or he would visit me in Katipunan,” he said.
In those times, they would simultaneously work and rest together, or go on walks to catch up with each other.
"If you want something to work, you just do it, hindi na siya kumbaga effort. It’s a want on your part na gusto mong mag make time. And I think that's important to both of us."
“Napag-usapan naman namin before na we don't want each other to compromise the things that we do in our personal lives just for the sake of spending time together… Important din for us to grow together individually,” Tristan said, adding that he didn't want Lance and himself to compromise their studies and other work.
Going strong for almost two years, one challenge they still face is "chasing" each other’s seasons. Tristan has been working in the government for four months now, while Lance recently graduated.
Their conscious efforts to be present partners for each other has ultimately helped them overcome challenges like adjusting to each other’s life phases and dealing with burnout.
“It was great to have each other’s back during those times. 'Yung key for that in our relationship is really yung how can we make it feel ne we're still together, no matter what, na we’re not alone in each other's struggles,” Lance shared with L!fe.
For his part, Tristan said that their innate skill of being problem-solvers as student leaders has helped them properly deal with quarrels, without losing their respect for each other.
“'Pag dumadating 'yung crisis, we’re always kalmado. Hindi kami 'yung napangungunahan ng emotions, although minsan [nagkakaroon] ng slip, pero hindi dumadating sa point na nawawala na 'yung respect. [At] the end of the day kasi the consideration is that we love one another,” he added.
The need for visibility for queer couples
Tristan and Lance fortunately have their families’ support on their relationship. While this was the case for them, they acknowledge that it’s not the same for the other members of the community.
“Dahil we were both raised in [households] full of love, [we] really didn't get that pressure na may kailangan patunayan… But I know din that’s not really something na reality sa karamihan sa mga queer persons knowing na parang kailangan may lagi silang patunayan, may lagi silang parang pambawi sa kasarian nila para sa family sila,” Lance said.
“I hope na mas marami pa 'yung maka experience sa ganung klaseng love na talagang genuine, talagang rooted in terms of commitment, shared understanding, and not just love na parang very passing, very honeymoon type,” he added.
When Tristan shared the sweet photo of him and Lance in their togas, they couldn't help but feel grateful for the positive comments, especially those who also shared their personal love stories.
“[There are] a lot of queer couple [sharing] they’re also doing well, and that’s something na a lot of us need to see din, not just [during] Pride Month but everyday of the year—na people like us can have successful love lives and personal lives together,” Tristan said. “Since we're in a country na hindi pa ganon ka-progressive pagdating sa LGBT rights, napakalaking halaga ng visibility to our community na nagpo-prosper ‘yung mga ganitong relationship especially for feminine people like me. [It's] a lot harder na hindi ganoon ka accepted in the gay dating scene here in the Philippines,” he added.
“I want that visibility to translate to younger queer kids kasi alam na namin kung paano lumaki ng walang role model, walang someone to look up to,” he added, stressing that he wants younger queers to know that it’s possible to succeed in life, either in romance or career, without compromising or being ashamed of their gender identity.
