EXPLAINER: What is throning, a new trend in the Gen Z dating scene?
Have you ever dated someone for... clout?
There's a term for this shallow, attention-seeking dating strategy, and it's now making the rounds online among Gen Z.
The hashtag #throning has been used on social media platforms like Instagram and TikTok, with internet users sharing stories of how they experienced it in real life.
Psychologist and dating coach Mezhal Ulao told PhilSTAR L!fe that throning happens when "someone chooses a partner mostly for their social status, influence, or popularity instead of a real emotional bond."
"It’s like 'dating up' to look more important," he said. "Social media makes this louder because partners get placed on a metaphorical throne—shown off to boost one’s own image. While marrying for status is an old idea, throning is the digital-age version of it."
Why do people do it?
People engage in throning for various reasons, but insecurity and social pressure are at the center of it.
"They think being with someone popular or powerful makes them more valuable," Ulao explained.
"Others are influenced by the social media culture of having the 'perfect couple' image," he added. "Deep down, it’s often about chasing validation rather than genuine intimacy."
How do you know if you’re being throned?
Signs of throning aren't easy to spot at first, though there are patterns that can be noticed.
"It could be that they love posting about you online, but they don’t invest as much in private moments," said Ulao.
Over time, you might even start to feel like a trophy or an accessory rather than an equal.
According to the dating expert, some people who are being throned feel pressured by their partner to maintain a certain look or stay within a specific social circle.
"When their admiration fades the moment you stop giving them status or attention, it becomes clear that the connection was never really about love," he added.
How can you avoid getting throned?
While being admired and shown off can feel flattering, it often comes at a cost.
"It can leave you feeling used, pressured, or unseen," he said. "Instead of being valued for your real self, you’re valued for your image."
To avoid being throned, Ulao suggested slowing down and paying attention to consistency.
"Take time to notice if their interest is in you or your status," he added. "Watch how they treat you in private vs. public."
It's also important to keep your boundaries clear. "You’re not just someone’s image booster. Choose partners who love you for who you are, not what you can do for their reputation."
"It's also good to ask deeper questions to see if they connect with your values and not just your lifestyle," he continued.
The dating expert emphasized that true love doesn't need a throne. "It needs balance, equality, and a connection that feels just as good offline as it looks online," he concluded.
